1. |
Intro (Hurt Less)
01:06
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What the fuck's a meaningful connection?
I never had one, never will, but I tried my best.
Staring in the mirror my reflection tells me I am nearing closer to my death.
Can you lend a hand?
There is so much in this world I don't understand,
And the truth is I could really use a friend.
Just another bag of bones with their own mess.
Just someone to make this whole thing hurt less.
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2. |
Making Plans
04:03
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Maybe it’s time that I put the past behind me and allow these open wounds to heal. I made a home inside the pain I let define me, but the view from here ain’t so ideal.
But I can’t trust myself anymore. My instincts have lied before. I just wanna go but I can’t find the door.
(And so I stay) I stay just hanging around, (just hanging around) fucked up with my head in the gutter again, (waiting for something) I’ll wait till someone helps me out (helps me out).
(Will you wait) I’ve been working hard to grow, (wait for me) into a version of myself that I wanna know, (on the other side of this pain) but right now I’m exactly where I need to be (a place to breathe.)
Maybe it’s time that I pack the pain away. What goods it doing me anyway?
But I can’t trust myself anymore, my instincts have lied before, I just wanna go but I can’t find the fucking door.
(And so I stay) I stay just hanging around, (just hanging around) fucked up with my head in the gutter again, (waiting for something) I’ll wait till someone helps me out (helps me out).
(Will you wait) I’ve been working hard to grow, (wait for me) into a version of myself that I wanna know, (on the other side of this pain) but right now I’m exactly where I need to be (a place to breathe.)
Remember when you told me that I’d never change. That I would always stay in the same damn place. Well you were dead wrong cause I’ve been fixing my brain and I’ve been feeling real good as of late. Remember when you told me I was bringing you down. And you just needed someone happy around. Well that really hurt how you just left me to drown but I pulled myself out anyway.
I’m making plans to be ok.
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3. |
Send For A Hospital
04:05
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Send for an ambulance, this time I really think I’m dying. I’ve never felt this way before, in the blink of an eye I look back and I’m on my own.
I know I’ve said this all before, but I don’t think I belong here anymore.
I find it hard to relate to anyone else, I’m not alone but I’m all by myself, I’m stuck on repeat in circles spinning around and I’m learning nothing. I’m pumping the breaks, I’m not slowing down. I’m heading straight for a hole in the ground and I’m bearing the weight of a soul that’s been bound to a lifetime of suffering and baby I’m really struggling.
Spare me your sympathy, the truth is written on your face. It’s clear that you never cared at all and I can’t say I blame you the slightest for running away.
And if it’s not obvious by now, it’s pretty clear that I’m never gonna figure it out.
I find it hard to relate to anyone else, I’m not alone but i’m all by myself, I’m stuck on repeat in circles spinning around and I’m learning nothing. I’m pumping the breaks, I’m not slowing down. I’m headed straight for a whole in the ground and I’m bearing the weight of a soul that’s been bound to a lifetime of suffering and baby I’m really struggling.
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4. |
Mostly Downs
02:38
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I passed out on your couch. Woke up, smoked up and then freaked out. Can you call my mother? Let her know that I loved her. I went by your old house. Looks like your family moved out. That place is full of old memories. From a time before you were dead to me.
So it’s 2am and here I am again. Googling the best ways to kill myself. This is becoming a routine. But there’s an ocean of pain that lives inside of me.
(Dear diary, it’s June 22nd 2015 and I’ve never felt more alone in my life. I’m not sure that I can ever look her in the eyes again. Was any of this even real?) NO!
Manipulator does it feel great, when you’re lying through your teeth to get your way and I’ll never believe a word you say, you’re just a name on my list of mistakes.
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5. |
Over
01:29
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Who knows where we’ll be when this is over. I hope somewhere far away. I can’t recall the last time I was sober but yeah I like it that way. So pour yourself another one on me.
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6. |
Five Day Bender
03:15
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7. |
Stay Home
04:44
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I’ve been staying home. A steady diet of no one. And I'm still not sleeping well. Been up searching for myself.
Yeah the going it got tough, I barely tried than I gave up. I’ll sit and wait until the next one comes along. Without a doubt I’ll fuck it up. I run away when offered love. A subconscious habit I picked up when I was young and impressionable.
I’ve been medicating. A daily dose of alcohol and nicotine. Yeah it helps to take the pain away. This thread I’ve been hanging by’s getting thinner everyday.
When I can’t sleep I close my eyes. I bide the time till my demise. All I ever wanted was to die when I was young. I’m turned around, I'm twisted up. I’ve given in, I’m giving up. Throw my body in a potter's field and let me rot away.
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8. |
Gouge
04:07
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Last night I gouged my own eyes out. So I don’t have to see you anymore. This morning it broke my heart to hear you walk out the door. So I drove a screwdriver through my ears so I can never hear your voice again but in silence I can still smell you in my bed. Love is like buying a ticket on an airplane that’s scheduled to crash. A one way turbulent ride to an incredible death. Whoa, I don’t know.
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Engineer Records UK
Engineer Records is an ever-growing, truly independent alternative record label, who believe punk rock is an ethic, not a
sound. Engineer has been releasing both well known and burgeoning bands equally, since our formation as Ignition Records in 1999. We are based in the southeast corner of England, yet promote our releases all over the world.
Find our 200+ releases at EngineerRecords.com
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